A Matter of Principle

Have you ever been in a group and felt like you just didn't belong? Have you felt like you were a fraud or a phoney and if people knew you, they'd realize you weren't good enough? Have you ever felt like you really didn't matter?

Just because we believe something, doesn't mean it's true; it may simply be a habit of thinking. And if we have a habit of thinking we don't matter, we end up diluting our joy, our happiness, our ability to engage fully in life, and our conscious connection with the Divine.

 

Who are you?  Are you simply a collection of memories?  Are you someone's family member?  Are you what you do for a living?  How many different ways do we describe oursevles by using the words, "I am.....?"  For me, I've commonly described myself in the following ways: I am a minister, I am a coach, I am a mother, I am not good at meeting people for the first time, I am a great speaker and story-teller, I am too fat, I am smart, I am not always likeable - - and the list could go on and on.

 

The problem comes when we think we are what we think we are. In his book "The Untethered Soul," Michael Singer tells us we've only ever had one problem and that is the voice in our head.  We believe our voice when it tells us we are less than, we are not good enough, we've been abused, we've lied, we don't deserve love, we have to earn love, we shouldn't trust, and we must never let ourselves be hurt.  When we believe that and we think we are that - it is easy to feel like a fraud or a phoney and to think we don't matter.

 

However, that is never the Truth and it never will be the Truth.  It is just an idea (and a limiting idea at that!)  You are not the experience, you are the one who is experiencing; you are not your thoughts, you are the one doing the thinking.  There is a big differnce.  In the first case, when we think we are what we experience, we can feel powerless and victimized and simply hope for the best. But when we realize we have the choice to change our way of thinking, we can observe our situation(s) and not be defined by them.  This choice leads to freedom.

The Sufi mystic Rumi wrote, "You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and truth. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You're not meant for crawling, so don't. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly. Know this truth about you." It's time to change our habits of thinking and realize we are good enough and we do matter!