I was having some blood work done the other day when the lab tech excused herself to help with another patient in the next room. It was an 8 year-old boy who was getting his blood drawn. He was crying...a lot. His mother and his little sister were also in the room with him. I could hear the lab tech saying, "don't move so much or it will hurt more." She said this over and over again. Obviously, it wasn't working.
And then it happened. Shrieking! Loud, fearful screaming. I knew it was at that point when the little boy saw the needle. Why didn't anyone tell him to close his eyes? At this point, I was getting tense and nervous. I was actually allowing this boy's fear to have an effect on me (and I don't mind getting blood drawn.)
And then it was quiet. The very thing he was trying to get away from, the thing he was hoping his screams would prevent was now at hand - and it wasn't so bad. I wondered if he asked himself why he made such a big deal over it, but he was probably just glad he was alive.
How many times are we like that little boy? We worry and fret; we think this will be the worst day of our lives; we create dragons and monsters in our minds. No one tells us to close our eyes or think of something else. And after all of our fear and worry, we realize it wasn't so bad after all.
Even if we don't always realize it, we are free to choose thoughts of joy, happiness, security, and love and we don't have to keep revisiting the dungeon of fear.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Waxing Poweretic
I've been attending "spiritual boot camp" for the past 14 weeks. I go online and view the class Mondays and Thursdays and we have weekly assignments. Each day, however, we are given the directive to journal (morning and evening) and meditate daily. Although I started out with a bang, I seem to be finishing with a whisper. Of course, this brings up lots of things for me to look at (or not).
Let me back track a bit. January, 2011. Something came over me. Now, I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions, but I had a physical nagging within me that this year would NOT be business as usual. I thought this "spiritual boot camp" was scheduled for January and I was raring to go. I had even read the first chapter of the book and gotten my word, which was POWER!
However, class was postponed until March, and I wasn't as enthusiastic in March as I was in January, but I enrolled anyway. I know I needed some external prodding to awaken something new in me; I needed some connection with others who are interested in doing the work and living the results. In March, I changed my word to PRESENCE since I was a little more calm and wanted to experience the presence and didn't quite feel my power as much.
So, 14 weeks later, I'd have to assess myself as only being mediocre in my commitment to "not doing business as usual." And, I'm living mediocre results. Duh! Of course this brings out my patterns of self-criticism - and we are in "no judgment week" currently. I'm not judging, really - - I'm just observing (how often have I heard that?)! We have such a variety of ways we can fool ourselves; yet are we ever really fooling ourselves? I think not.
Nearing the end of 16 weeks, I see my word actually should have stayed POWER. I think I'm afraid of owning my power. I'm afraid of being too confident. I'm afraid of living to my potential. Instead, I seem to be "flirting with life" and not engaging fully. That looks like business as usual to me. However, this idea, won't let go - and 2011 is not quite halfway over, so there is still time.
Prior to "spiritual boot camp" last Thursday, I was in my own meditative state and I was overtaken by a poem. It is a love poem from God and I'm calling it Beyond This Moment.
Let me back track a bit. January, 2011. Something came over me. Now, I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions, but I had a physical nagging within me that this year would NOT be business as usual. I thought this "spiritual boot camp" was scheduled for January and I was raring to go. I had even read the first chapter of the book and gotten my word, which was POWER!
However, class was postponed until March, and I wasn't as enthusiastic in March as I was in January, but I enrolled anyway. I know I needed some external prodding to awaken something new in me; I needed some connection with others who are interested in doing the work and living the results. In March, I changed my word to PRESENCE since I was a little more calm and wanted to experience the presence and didn't quite feel my power as much.
So, 14 weeks later, I'd have to assess myself as only being mediocre in my commitment to "not doing business as usual." And, I'm living mediocre results. Duh! Of course this brings out my patterns of self-criticism - and we are in "no judgment week" currently. I'm not judging, really - - I'm just observing (how often have I heard that?)! We have such a variety of ways we can fool ourselves; yet are we ever really fooling ourselves? I think not.
Nearing the end of 16 weeks, I see my word actually should have stayed POWER. I think I'm afraid of owning my power. I'm afraid of being too confident. I'm afraid of living to my potential. Instead, I seem to be "flirting with life" and not engaging fully. That looks like business as usual to me. However, this idea, won't let go - and 2011 is not quite halfway over, so there is still time.
Prior to "spiritual boot camp" last Thursday, I was in my own meditative state and I was overtaken by a poem. It is a love poem from God and I'm calling it Beyond This Moment.
Between my words, you came to me.
Like a blast of heat
from the furnace of fire.
Overtaking me.
beyond words
beyond feelings.
Just an overwhelming urge -
A desire to merge
To shine
To be
To exist
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