Leaning into our Mistakes

Does how we approach our mistakes or failures determine our future success?

Sometimes when we’ve failed at something or made a mistake, we’d like a ‘do-over’ and make some corrections and start again. Other times, we don’t even want to acknowledge our mistake; maybe because it brings up shame or guilt. In those cases, we either try to blame someone else or we try and avoid thinking about it or even pretend it never happened.

When we [mistakenly] believe that mistakes and failures are shameful and need to be avoided at all costs, we aren’t open to learning from them. Instead, we are likely to confuse ‘making a mistake’ with ‘being a mistake.’  

"Failure does not mean the loss of something. Failure occurs only if the loss of that thing takes our enthusiasm, our courage, our zest for life, our faith, our conviction, and our happiness from us." ~Ernest Holmes

We must not let any past mistakes or failures stop us from pursuing our goals and dreams!

Is our self-confidence and belief in ourselves so delicate that it shatters in the

face of having made a mistake? Mistakes are the primary opportunity to learn and grow. There is probably no invention that was perfect the first time.

If we are learning to play baseball, do we expect to hit a ‘home run’ the first time at bat? And if we strike out, do we run into the dugout and refuse to pick up the bat again? Of course not. But we expect to be perfect in business and in our lives.

It’s time re-think our ideas about what a mistake is. The word itself spells it out: it is a mis-take. Just do ‘take 2’ and ‘take 3’ and ‘take 4’ – like in the movies. Assess what went well and what small adjustment needs to be made. Any mistakes or failures have no bearing on who we are or what our value is.

The fact that we are making mistakes is proof that we are making progress and moving forward.

I have spoken to a number of clients who have tried something once. labeled the results as a failure, and refused to try anything similar again. On top of that, many blamed and criticized themselves and were convinced their ideas and choices in the future couldn't be trusted. Their self-confidence was shattered, their dreams seemed unattainable, and their momentum came to a standstill. All because of one failure. And according to the quote from Ernest Holmes above, that standstill is the failure; not the failure itself.
 

In what areas are you afraid to move forward and try again? What mistakes have you made in the past that you are still holding yourself hostage for?

• Your children are in jail or are addicts
• You filed for bankruptcy
• Your house went into foreclosure
• You broke your promise
• The business you started failed
• You got fired from your job

Instead of hiding and feeling ashamed, guilty, resentful, or frustrated, use these mistakes as fuel for self-understanding and reflection. Learn from them. Make tweaks and try again.

If you’d like help in tweaking some of your ideas that didn’t work out in the past or to express your big desires and moving into your own genius, click here for a free Breakthough Session

CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours (Reflect or journal)

• Think about a mistake (or two) you made in the past and ask yourself these questions:
• Did I have the right goal? Was I trying to solve the right problem?
• Do I have new information now that would have been useful or helpful then?
• What would I do differently this time?
• Was I acting out of a need to please someone else?
• Can I accept responsibility and move on?
• What did I learn about myself?

It’s time to say ‘yes’ to you!

Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in discovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Breakthrough session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER!

Schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session

​

I'm excited to hear the dream in your heart! Let's talk!

Until next time

Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on!

Janet Kingsley

About Janet
Janet Kingsley helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities.

She serves business owners and helps them make a bigger impact by reconnecting with their vision and passion and double, triple, or 10X their business without selling their soul or losing their mind.

I Can't Believe I Wrote That

Isn’t it time you listened to your own wisdom?
 
After my last blog entered my inbox and I actually read what I wrote, I was shocked and stupefied. I didn’t realize the mixed messages I’ve been putting out. My last blog said this: We get afraid when all we focus on is the outcome and the subtext is don’t focus on the outcome, but focus on smaller steps.
 
And in another previous blog I say this: It’s more productive to focus on one thing at a time and that subtext is also about not focusing on the outcome, but on smaller steps.
 
And yet, the Law of Attraction gurus tell us to focus on what we want and even on my Sunday morning talks, I’ll talk endlessly about keeping our focus on our desires.
 
So which is it? Do we focus on the small steps or do we focus on our desires?
 
Which expert do we listen to? Is there a ‘one-size-fits-all’ methodology to create the life of our dreams? No wonder we may be confused and confounded when the messages we read and hear aren’t consistent. And when we’re confused, what happens? Probably not much. 

Some people do get afraid when they focus on the outcome and others get inspired and motivated. Some people are more productive when they focus on one thing at a time and others get bogged down and overwhelmed by those day-to-day details but can easily move forward in the direction of the big picture.
 
You are an expert on YOU!
 
Would you like to guess where my focus has been most of my life? It has been on the smaller steps and not on the big picture. I mentioned in my last blog, I’m good at starting things and maybe that’s because I have a narrower focus. And yet, the juiciness and joy in those small steps come from the focus of the big picture, the goal, and the gloriousness of our desire. And sometimes I lose out on that juiciness because I forget to reconnect with my vision. And that’s why I have my own coach.
 
And like so many other choices, perhaps it’s not simply a matter of either/or. Maybe it’s not focus on the outcome or focus on the steps; maybe it’s focus on the outcome and focus on the steps. And sometimes we might need some help getting out of our own way and out of our comfort zone – and that’s where I can help.

If you’d like help in getting unstuck in either/or thinking, click here for a free Breakthough Session

Bottom line, don’t give up your own internal wisdom simply because someone else claims to be an expert. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. And love yourself enough to change if your current way of thinking and behaving isn’t working out.

CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours

• Determine if it is easier for you to focus on the outcome (the ultimate
  
  dream, the big picture) or if it is easier for you to focus on the smaller steps that start you in the direction of your ultimate dream. Once you know which one is easier for you, then
• Take some time in the next couple of days to consciously work on the other one.
• If you are a small-step focuser: Allow yourself to dream big and bask in the feeling and delight of your desired outcome. Write it down and enjoy the feeling of ‘having it.’
• If you are a big-picture focuser: See if you can get excited about one or two small steps you can take in the next day or two to bring that big idea into the more mundane tasks.

It's time to say 'yes' to the genius that you are. 
​
Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in discovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Breakthrough session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER!
 
Schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session

About Janet
Janet Kingsley helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities.

Janet also works with business owners and helps them make a bigger impact by reconnecting with their vision and passion and double, triple, or 10X their business without selling their soul or losing their mind.

Number One Enemy of Success

What if this doesn't work?

Have you ever had an idea that got you excited? Have you wanted to combine your passion with your talent and take it to the world in some way? Maybe you plan and research; maybe you talk to your friends; maybe you even come up with a really cool name. And then it happens. The question: What if it doesn’t work? Somehow we forget to ask, “What if it DOES work?”
 
And let’s be honest for a minute. What if it doesn’t work? So what? It’s not the end of the world. But our rabid self talk will let us think it is absolutely the end of the world. We would be hard-pressed to find anyone who started something that worked every time.

We’ve all started relationships and seen them fail. We’ve been gung ho about a hobby only to let it go after years (or sometimes less). We’ve started new jobs, new hobbies, and new ways of eating. And sometimes we’ve stopped.
 
Did we stop because it didn’t work or because we didn’t have confidence? Did we stop because it didn’t work or because we lost interest? Did we stop because it didn’t work or because we found something else we liked better?
 
We get afraid when all we focus on is the outcome.
 
We get stuck in either/or thinking. Either I’m a millionaire or I’m not successful. Either I have a thriving business or I’m not successful. Either I’m a best-selling author or I’m not successful. Either I lose all the weight I need to or I’m not successful. Feel free to replace ‘I’m not successful’ with ‘I’m a failure’ or ‘I’m a loser’ (or your own personal favorite).

"You're not worthwhile because you have fulfilled your dreams. You're worthwhile because you exist. You're not enough because you have a good job. You're enough even if you haven't worked in thirteen years. You're not enough because you are loved by many people. You're enough even if nobody knows your name. You're not enough because your financial portfolio is enviable. You're enough even if you're dead broke. And becoming more successful doesn't make you enough, either. It only changes your experience. It doesn't change you." ~ Dr. David Walker

I’m good at starting things. 

I’ve started two churches, a Brownie Girl Scout Troop, three LLC businesses, a C-Corporation, a coaching business, and a real estate investing business. And I’ve fallen prey to the either/or mentality. Either these businesses and ideas succeeded or there was something wrong with me.
When I focused only on the outcome, all I saw were my flaws. I only saw all the ways I wasn’t good enough. I saw the ways my ideas failed to take hold. I saw all of my time and energy wasted on pipe dreams.

I never saw that I was a visionary. I never saw my confidence, strength, or courage. 

Where do you need help spotting your gifts, strengths, and courage?
                                                           
CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours

• Keep a journal of small actions (yes, small) you can take daily and track when completed.
• Example 1: “Today, I’m going to listen to a TED Talk that inspires me.” When you complete it, come back to your journal, and write “Success.”
• Example 2: “Today, I’m going to compliment three people” and when you complete it, come back to your journal, and write, “Success.”
• For extra credit, list the activities in your journal that you started but didn’t turn out so well that you might still be telling negative stories about. Behind each of these, list what awesome quality was needed for you to even begin (confidence, courage, faith, compassion, trust, vision, etc.)

 
When you review your journal, all you see are the various ways that you are a success.
 
It’s time to say ‘yes’ to the success that you are.
 
Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in discovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Breakthrough session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER!

About Janet
Janet Kingsley helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities.

Janet also works with business owners and helps them make a bigger impact by reconnecting with their vision and passion and double, triple, or 10X their business without selling their soul or losing their mind.

To schedule a complimentary visit her website at: www.janetkingsley.com

Why is it so Hard to be Positive?

Are we hardwired for negativity?
 
Dr. Joe Dispenza writes in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, “Most of us live in the past and resist living in a new future. Why? The body is so habituated to memorizing the chemical records of our past experiences that it grows attached to these emotions. In a very real sense, we become addicted to those familiar feelings. So when we want to look to the future and dream of new vistas and bold landscapes in our not-too-distant reality, the body, whose currency is feelings, resists the sudden change in direction.”
 
And what are those familiar feelings? Guilt, resentment, self-doubt, stress, obligations, settling, failure, being misunderstood, avoiding risk, playing it safe, duty, missed opportunities – and the list goes on and on.
 
We long to experience joy and passion and purpose and we head in the direction that we think will take us there. And perhaps the first obstacle we encounter brings us right back to the idea and the memory of who we think we are.
 
Think about it for a minute.

• Is it easier to mull over hurt feelings than daydream about how you are appreciated?
• Is it easier to consider the times you’ve tried and didn’t succeed or to embrace a setback as a springboard for new ideas?
• Is it easier to list all the ways you’ve have to struggle, scrimp, or save financially or to be in gratitude for whatever amount is in your checkbook?

 
Let’s ‘blame’ evolution. In the world of our ancient ancestors, it was critical to their survival to react more strongly to negative experiences than to positive ones.
 
​Modern science tells us that negative stimuli triggers more neural activity in our brains.
 
Not only that, but ‘bad news’ is detected more quickly and easily! So, maybe we are hardwired for negativity. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s just easier and we’re a bit lazy. Maybe we have so much practice on noticing and feeling the negative that we haven’t developed our ‘positivity’ muscles. We are brilliant at playing the 'negativity' game.

We are masters at collecting evidence that points out our flaws:

• I'm not lovable
• I'm not worthy
• There's something wrong with me
• I never get the breaks
• No one understands me
• 
  

We are masters at avoiding our genius:

• we play it safe
• we don't make waves
• we hold our tongue instead of speaking our truth
• we hide our gifts
• we settle for anything

 
If you need some assistance and guidance in neutralizing this negativity bias, let’s talk.
 
CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours

• Soak in the ‘good.’ Even if our positive experience is mild, don’t move on from it for 20 or 30 seconds. Stay with the good feeling. Bask in the warmth of it. Don’t just give it a small recognition (if we even bother to recognize it at all) and move on quickly. Soak it in.
• Divert negativity by working on something challenging. We can shake off negative emotions when our mental energy is on something challenging, like a memory game or puzzle.

Like anything of value, it takes commitment, practice, and consistency to transform mediocrity into greatness. And you can do it. Let me know how these ideas work out for you.

Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in uncovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Free Breakthrough Session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER!

About Janet
Janet Kingsley helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities.

Business Owners: Make a bigger impact by reconnecting with your vision and passion and double, triple, or 10X your business without selling your soul or losing your mind.

www.janetkingsley.com
https://www.facebook.com/Possibility.Doctor/

The Wonder of Discovery

Sometimes change can be difficult or challenging. It sounds good. We want to experience something different or better or happier or more abundant or healthier, but it seems like our thinking habits or our behavior habits are more difficult to change - or at least keep changed. I think sometimes we approach any change with cynicism, fear, or reluctance. "Well, maybe I'll just try it and see how it goes." "I'm not sure this is the right thing for me at this time." "Someone told me I should do it, so I'm giving it a try." Of course, philosopher Yoda would say, "Do. Or do not. There is no try."

When approaching change, we can enter into the energy of 'wonder' and allow ourselves to have a beginner's mind. Then, we are open to everything and we know we can grow and evolve from every experience. We actively search for the blessing in everything. We don't think we 'know it all' or have all the answers. We are teachable and we have an expectation of good. And then change can be approached without cynicism, fear, or reluctance.

When we make a commitment to upgrading and enhancing our consciousness, we will surely get enough messages and reminders that will eventually open our eyes, open our heart, and open our mind. And then we say, "Oh, I get it. I understand." And we get to step into the Wonder of Discovery. The discovery of the brilliance of the infinite. The discovery of our capacity to create. The discovery of our own connection to the Divine. The discovery of Unity. The discovery of love and acceptance. The discovery of who we are. And maybe most importantly, the discovery of our ability to think a new thought and change our lives. 

See, change can be a good thing! Your adventure awaits.

Wisdom from Ernest Holmes

"Our belief sets the limit to our demonstration of a Principal, which, of Itself, is without limit. It is ready to fill everything, because it is Infinite. So, it is not a question of Its willingness, nor of Its ability. It is entirely a question of our own receptivity"              [Science of Mind]

About Janet

Janet Kingsley, founder and spiritual leader of Center for Positive Living Sedona has been opening hearts and minds to infinite possibilities since 1998. Through articles, classes, and coaching she opens the heart, intrigues the mind, and feeds the spirit.

Janet specializes in working with mind-body practitioners and healers who want to double, triple, and 10X their business without selling their soul or losing their mind.

She is an effective spiritual healer and is lovingly referred to as the "Dream Builder Coach" because she has the knack for helping people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities.

Find out more at www.janetkingsley.com

Can You See Me Now?

Part of empowered living is opening up and seeing with different eyes, hearing with different ears, and being open to experience the magic and the miraculous of the Divine in different ways than usual. While it's well and good to declare that God is our Source or that God is good all the time, we also need to be willing to be uncomfortable and see things from a different perspective and to be open to answers that come in different ways than we expect. Yes, even if those ways may not seem to be the answer we were looking or hoping for.

We all want to move into greater possibility, passion, and purpose but we may not experience that greater until we change our beliefs and opinions and be open to new ways of seeing, listening, hearing, allowing, receiving, and being.

I wonder how many times in each of our lives someone has come to us with an idea and we didn't have the time to take advantage of it. What sort of excuses did we have as to why we couldn't move forward? Was it lack of money? Was it bad timing? Was it not exactly the right idea we were looking for? Was it too much work? 

How long do we have to wait? How much pain do we have to go through? How much drama or chaos do we need to create in order to finally see or hear our answer and say yes? What will it take to open our hearts and minds to our infinite possibilities? 

Wisdom from Ernest Holmes

All evolution is an awakening and development of a greater possibility, resulting in an unfoldment of an inherent potential. Since man lives in his consciousness, it follows that a change of consciousness will produce a change in outward manifestation. Hence we arrive at the idea that man lives in and by his beliefs and opinions, and that, could he change these beliefs and opinions, there would be an outward manifestation corresponding to the inner change" 

                                [Living Without Fear]

About Janet

Janet Kingsley, founder and spiritual leader of Center for Positive Living Sedona has been opening hearts and minds to infinite possibilities since 1998. Through articles, classes, and coaching she opens the heart, intrigues the mind, and feeds the spirit.

Janet specializes in working with mind-body practitioners and healers who want to double, triple, and 10X their business without selling their soul or losing their mind.

She is lovingly referred to as the "Possibility Coach" because she can see beyond your doubts and fears and ask the right questions so you can dive deep into your soul. Janet is also a master energy healer and helps people love their body, love themselves, and love their life. She is creating a movement and changing the world...one person at a time.

Find out more at www.janetkingsley.com

Protecting Yourself

I've begun to think for myself and not just repeat catch phrases and ideas from the latest New Thought guru or author. Well, that's not quite true. I've been thinking for myself for awhile, but haven't shared my thinking broadly (although those folks close to me get an earful!!). 

You know how so many of us like to put the white light (or even sometimes a golden light or a green light) around things for protection? Many of us surround our cars, our houses, and even ourselves with this light of protection. 

So here's my question: if there is only One Thing and that One Thing is God and It operates in and through absolutely everything and there is nothing else but God, and that God is a Power for Good, then what do we need protection from? The answer would be 'nothing.' 

Well, we might need protection from our Monkey Mind thoughts. But if we think that something 'out there' is out to get us or can hurt us or take something away from us, then that is our clue that we have completely forgotten that God is all there is (see paragraph above).

Maybe we need to start putting that 'white light of protection' around our limiting beliefs, our stories, our excuses, and the temptation of our Monkey Mind to stall and sabotage [tongue in cheek].

When our mindset tells us there is not enough, that others have something we want, or that having that 'thing' will make us happy and satisfied, we have turned away from Spirit and allowed ourselves to feel weak and vulnerable. We are indeed powerful when we unite with the One Power. Let's not forget that.

I've always been partial to a pink light myself because it reminds me of fairy princesses! Or is it that it reminds me of 'rose-colored' glasses?

Wisdom from Ernest Holmes

"We are powerful only as we unite with Power. We are weak when we desert this Power."  [Science of Mind] 

"The Power of Life within you is a spiritual power, able to bring to you permanent peace, increasing happiness and joy, and greater material abundance. These things that have made man miserable can be eliminated through the conscious use of this Power." [365 Science of Mind]

About Janet

Janet Kingsley, founder and spiritual leader of Center for Positive Living Sedona has been opening hearts and minds to infinite possibilities since 1998. Through articles, classes, and coaching she opens the heart, intrigues the mind, and feeds the spirit.

Janet is also a "Possibility Coach" who can see beyond your doubts and fears and ask the right questions so you can dive deep into your soul. She is also a master energy healer. Focusing on helping people love their body, love themselves, and love their life, she is creating a movement and changing the world...one person at a time.

Find out more at www.janetkingsley.com